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R[10]
[10] Ed. Note: The editor apologizes for the character of the
R's who have been famous.
RALEIGH, Walt., one of the men who was permitted to hold hands
with Queen Elizabeth. His other feats were the introduction of
the pipe into England and the plug into Ireland.
RAMESES II, an Egyptian king who went about building burial
mountains, statues to himself, and permitting cigarettes to be
named after him.
RAPHAEL, a decorator who took paint in its raw state and made
it worth money. Filled walls, principally in Italy, with some
expensive paintings, and, like Angelo, used the Vatican as his
studio. Ambition: Churches with larger walls. Recreation:
Painting, art, and canvas weaving. Address: All galleries.
RECAMIER, Madame, of Paris. Supplied the society column to the
newspapers. To be invited to her salon meant that you would
get plenty to eat, that you were somebody, that you would see
somebody, and that you would have to wear your Sunday clothes.
Her R. S. V. P.'s were always accepted. R. finally lost her
money, and with it her friends. Ambition: The man of the
hour. Epitaph: When She Had It She Spent It.
REMBRANDT, Dutch painter who specialized in portraits of old
ladies and Rembrandt. Also brought considerable fame down upon
himself by filling a museum in Amsterdam with tourist-drawing
paintings.
REMINGTON, the man who invented a typewriter at which many
pretty stenographers[11] sit.
[11] Ed. Note: Advertisement for the stenographers, not the
machine.
REVIEWER, The Book, he is the fellow who said a chef-d'oeuvre
like Who Was Who should be used for ballast.
RHODES, Cecil, a poor boy who saved his money and purchased
South Africa.
RHODES, Colossus of, a giant of antiquity who was not killed by
a stone. He rusted to death.
RICHELIEU, Cardinal, the man who held down the throne for Louis
XIII, and disagreed with the Duke of Buckingham.
RITZ, innkeeper who made hotels in which we all would like to
stop, but cannot. Ambition: Americans and English nobility.
Recreation: Visiting his hotels. Address: Ritz and Carlton.
Clubs: Does not need any.
ROBESPIERRE, a French politician who had the opportunity of
doing to his enemies what most politicians would like to do to
theirs. Was finally voted out and down.
ROBINSON, Jack, brother of Sam Hill. He claimed distinction
simply because some people were sufficiently clever to do
things before his name could be pronounced.
ROCKEFELLER, John D., an American who endeavored to drive his
camel through the eye of a needle by giving advice, building
churches and colleges, and squeezing competitors. Like all
millionaires, he was born penniless. R. worked hard, helped
the missions out of his $3 a week, married, and purchased some
oil fields. He struck oil. He made it in a trust. Then he
began purchasing colleges to keep young men out of business.
As his wealth increased his stomach and hair wore out. Could
make seven people dizzy thinking of his money. Spent the
latter portion of his life dodging subpoenae servers, and
doubling his fortune by the dissolution of his business.
Ambition: More churches, colleges, and less competition. Also
another Supreme Court decision. Recreation: Golf, the
coiffeurs, and telling young men of the futility of
competition. Address: Courts and church. Clubs: Y. M. C. A.,
when he can spare the time from his legal and congressional
investigations.
ROCKEFELLER, John D., Jr., the little Rockefeller who will have
the fun of spending it. He was a good boy, and told other
young men how fortunate they were in being born poor and all
about the fungus which grows on the root of all evil. Never
knew what a good time he could have with his Dad's coin in
Paris. Ambition: To be like father. Recreation: Sunday
school. Occupation: Forming new trusts and enlarging the old
ones. Clubs: Y. M. C.A.
RODIN, August, a Frenchman who did his utmost to fill European
and American galleries with statues at a price which would have
made Mike Angelo a billionaire.
ROJESVENSKY, Admiral, a great Russian admiral and sea fighter
who gloriously defeated the fishing squadron in the English
Channel. Later hit a snag in the Orient.
ROMEO, Juliet's best fellow, who learned that his road to true
love ended in a cemetery.
ROMULUS, Remus' twin. Collaborated with his brother in home
life and in building Rome.
ROOSEVELT, Theodore, nom de plume, T. R., Teddy, press agent,
The Outlook, "I," traveler, teddy bear manufacturer, lecturer,
interview giver, museum collector, "ME," Guildhall orator,
dee-lighted, "MYSELF," mooser, hunter, band-wagon driver,
band-wagon, Panama canal, rough rider, circus leader, circus,
down-with-rafter, and a former retired and retiring president
of the United States. When a young man he spent his father's
money by going to college, shooting lions, and raising a large
family. During the Spanish-American War he employed a troop of
rough riders, stormed San Juan Hill, and got into the
newspapers. Made up his mind he would stay there. R. became
governor of New York State with ambitions. Being a wealthy
man, and capable of contributing to the cause of the Republican
party, he was elected vice-president of the United States. A
hand other than his own made him president. Here his newspaper
career really began. R. first opened a three-ring circus in
the White House, wore a rough rider hat, and told the country
what a great president he was. The voters believed him, and
did not object to four years more. During this administration
R. successfully advertised himself, the family, started the
Panama Canal, and appointed one William Howard Taft (see Poor
Bill) his successor. R. then traveled through Africa with a
magnificent body guard of photographers and newspaper men.
After shooting a museum-full of specimens, he toured Europe and
told the king how to king and the emperors how to emp.
Returning to the United States he placed his hand in state
politics. Fingers were badly burned. When it came time to
elect another president, R. was tired of scene shifting and
yearned for the bouquets of the audience. He girded up his
loins with the robes of sanctity, placed an international
Harvester Trust halo over his head, and proclaimed himself a
second Moses who was destined to lead the children of America
out of the Land of the Frying Pan into that of the Fire. With
a mighty army of politicians, who also wanted to get back, R.
started his campaign with such a huge band he could not hear
any others. The fight was based on telling the voters how
easily they had been deceived four years earlier in what he had
told them concerning that "molycoddle Taft." R. was elected by
the greatest majority in history until the ballots were
hatched. Later he joined the ranks of William Jennings Bryan.
Publications: The "I" books. Ambition: To get back into Who's
Who and Washington. Address: The Outlook. Oyster Bay for
newspapermen. Clubs: Founder of the Ananias. Epitaph: Same
as Bryan's.
ROTHSCHILDS, the Morgan-Rockefellers of Europe without quite as
much money.
ROY, Robert, a very wicked Scotchman whom we all hope will
always escape the police.
RUBENS, P. P., an artist who realized styles frequently
changed, and therefore painted fat people without their
clothes.
RUSSE, Charlotte, a pleasant creature, but one who sometimes
caused pain after a visit.
RUSSIA, T. H. E., Czar of, an anti-bomb loving monarch with
modern subjects and a tenth-century brain. His childhood was
spent in a steel-lined cage, guarded by the army and the fleet.
He was crowned in a bomb-proof church by a thoroughly searched
clergyman, only the crown, the crowner, and the crowned being
present to witness the ceremony. Seldom goes about the
country, as he fears the heartfelt expressions of his subjects.
In 1908 he became mixed up with Japan. Is now economizing.
Ambition: Only life. Recreation: Dissolving Doumas. signing
death warrants. Address: Large packages are always opened by
the servants. Send letters care St. Petersburg police
department. Clubs: Army. Epitaph: It Is A Wonder He Did Not
Have This Long Ago.
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